


I am Dean Winchester

by SupernaturalMystery306



Series: SPN Crack [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel is a sentient ladyfinger but Dean doesn't know it, Dean is COMPLETELY straight, He just likes stuff up his ass, Just some ladyFINGERING, Ladyfinger!Cas, Masturbation, Masturbation with food, Other, POV First Person, This is ladyfinger porn, ladyfingers are sexists, nothing graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-23 17:28:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6124498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalMystery306/pseuds/SupernaturalMystery306
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <i>Hi, I am Dean Winchester, and I <b>love</b> having things up my ass.</i>
  </p>
</div><p>The one where Dean doesn't say "Cas get out of my ass!" and Cas never says "I was never in your..." and doesn't get out, either.<br/>
Or the one where ladyfinger!Cas wreaks Dean's ass.

</p>
<p>OR<br/>
HI, I AM SUPERNATURALMYSTERY306 AND IT'S FUCKING HARD TO WRITE IN FIRST PERSON.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I am Dean Winchester

**Author's Note:**

> I love ladyfingers and I've scarred myself writing this.

Hi, I am Dean Winchester, and I _love_ having things up my ass.

The thing is, I am totally straight. I swear, I am.

I don’t like guys, I don’t like cock. Cock is crock. (Useless. Except for mine, but I can’t really fuck my ass with my own dick.)

But I just want something in my ass.

Sometimes the women I bed decide to give me what I want, as long as I follow their orders. What can I say, some women really love a docile, submissive man, and I can be that as long as I got what I want.

But many a times they don’t give in to my begging. My sweet, sweet begging.

It is indeed very hard (no pun intended) to have something real when a person isn’t gay.

Vibrators and dildos don’t do anything. I love using them, but they’re not _real_.

I need something fleshy.

And that is why I am now on my kitchen table, one hand loosely gripping my cock, the other holding a ladyfinger. I am giggling at the choice because I always have ladies’ fingers only.

***

Male ladyfingers are often teased. For, well, being _male_.

Being male and not liking female ladyfingers is even more fuel for the ones who like to ridicule them.

I am one such ladyfinger. I am Castiel, and I don’t like females.

Currently I am pushing in and out of a human’s posterior.

It is shaped quite nicely, and the human has opened himself up enough so that I don’t feel like I’m getting strangled.

I am having fun, wiggling around inside the ass, when the man suddenly stiffens.

Ripped out of the hole I’m enjoying, my cries of annoyance are drowned out by the man’s long drawn gasp and I barely have time to scurry out of the way before the man slumps down on the table. (Whew, that was a close save.)

Well.

That was eventful.

I smirk as I join the other ladyfingers. They may make fun of me, but at least I got to have fun.

***

Freaking fuck. That was amazing.

That ladyfinger was of the perfect shape and size.

Looking around, I notice that it has rolled away next to its brethren.

Cool..........

Next time I’ll use a cucumber. Or a bitter gourd. Yes, that'd be great.

**Author's Note:**

> ..... I love bitter gourds too. T_T
> 
> This is written for [SPNColdestHits](http://ao3.org/collections/spncoldesthits).  
> March prompt: Someone gets fucked by a vegetable.
> 
> And you, with the six browsers, carry on doing what you do from my side too. XD I am doing my best.


End file.
